


Banoffee Pie

by destroyerofhearts



Series: Merthur Actually [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Love Actually Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Wedding, Angst, Christmas, F/M, Love Actually - Freeform, One-Sided Attraction, Sad, Unrequited Love, Unrequited Merlin/Arthur - Freeform, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-08-31 12:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8578759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destroyerofhearts/pseuds/destroyerofhearts
Summary: Merlin loves Gwen. But here, on her wedding day, he wonders whether he loves Arthur more.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Heya! Second part of my 'Merthur Actually' series! This is based on the Peter, Juliet and Mark storyline, which is one of the more sad stories from the film, but I did want to spruce things up and try writing something a little different from the usual fluff anyway. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's read the series so far, hope you're looking forward to more!
> 
> During the scene when they watch the wedding video, I'm going to link the Glasgow Theme (which is the song that plays over the scene) if you wanted to listen to while reading. 
> 
> Characters belong to BBC and Shine, and the storyline belongs to Love Actually (Universal and Working Title).

Merlin loves Gwen. After all, Gwen has been his best friend since their university days. Without her, those years would have been bleak and lonely, not to mention those of actual adulthood. He owes her one.

But here, on her wedding day, he wonders whether he loves Arthur more. 

\---

Arthur was a prat. A blonde, pompous, supercilious prat, who cared little for those that he deemed 'unsuitable company'. 

To this day, Merlin will always question how someone as stuck up as Arthur could end up with someone as sweet and caring as Gwen. 

But they worked together, they really did. They balanced each other out perfectly. Arthur's crassness was toned down by Gwen's kindness, and her overbearing nature was changed by his need of space. They were the perfect couple, always challenging the other person when it was necessary, but at the end of the day there was a pure and true love between them, one that Merlin could only dream of having. 

They were perfect. They were together now. And that's how it was always going to be.

\---

Merlin brought his camcorder to the wedding, making sure to film the beautiful day that the couple had been working hard towards for about a year or so. But often he found himself and the camera lingering on Arthur's face. His blond hair was softly illuminated by the light that streamed in through the windows of the church. His eyes; beautiful, loving in appearance as he said 'I do' to his love. His suit, complimented by a red tie, was form fitting and gorgeous on him. Merlin couldn't deny that Gwen was a lucky girl, and he was rather jealous to not be the one taking all of it off come later tonight. 

At the end of the wedding, as the newly married couple began their procession down the aisle, they were stopped by a serenade that Merlin planned for his wonderful best friend. Gwen had always loved grand, romantic gestures and it would be a sin to not have at least one over-the-top gesture on her wedding day. Merlin made sure of that. 

The man sang 'All You Need is Love', while the band all strewn around the church started playing, joining in one by one. Gwen was grinning, almost looking like she was on the verge of tears for the tenth time today. Even Arthur, who had never been fond of such affairs, couldn't stop smiling at the ridiculous gesture. Merlin focussed on his appearance. He had never looked more beautiful. 

\---

"Do you love her?" 

Merlin startled, turning to his right and closing his camcorder. Sitting beside him was one of the bridesmaids, a lady called Morgana. She was another good friend of Gwen's, and also happened to be Arthur's step-sister. 

"W-what?" Merlin stuttered.

"I asked, do you love her?" she repeated. "I thought I'd ask, just in case no one had ever asked the question before. You know how it is."

"Ah, no, no, no, absolutely not. Not like that, anyway," Merlin denied. 

She chuckled quietly. "That's good to know."

He nodded in agreement, turning back to the wedding as the two newly weds continued in a slow dance. Merlin felt wistful-wishing that he too could have something like that.

"God, the music isn't the best. This DJ, worst in the world?" Merlin asked, trying to make small talk.

"I think it all hangs in the next song," Morgana said, just as the slow dance was wrapping up. 

As soon as it was finished, an awful, croony love song from the 80s began to play.

"Yep, it's official. Absolute worst," he groaned.

\---

Often more than not, Merlin will reflect on the bad decisions he's made in the past when they suddenly begin to affect him in the present. Today just so happened to be one of those days. 

It had started with a call from Gwen.

"Hello?"

"Merlin! How are you?" 

"'M good, yeah. How about you? Still running off the high of the newly wedded bliss?" he joked.

"Mm, something like that," she hummed. "Look, I'm calling because I need a favour from you. Well, Arthur needs a favour from you."

"What does Arthur want?"

"I'm not sure, actually, he's being all secretive about it. I have him on the other line, I'm just going to patch you through."

"Oh, uh, ok-"

"And Merlin? Be nice," she admonished.

"What are you talking about? I'm always nice-"

"Hello, Merlin," a deep voice came through the phone.

Merlin took in a shaky breath. "Arthur," he greeted. "How may I help you?"

"I have this problem. You see, I got the wedding video back, but it's all gone blue. I haven't told Gwen yet, I know she'll be devastated that there's not one good shot of her in her wedding dress that isn't the colour aquamarine."

"Ok, right, what does this have to do with me?" he asked.

"I remembered that during our wedding you were filming with your camcorder."

Merlin sucked in a sharp breath.

"And I was wondering...if it were possible...to look at it, see if I can at least get one decent shot of her dress, or of us together. Please?"

Merlin was silent for a moment. Then...

"Um, I'll have a look around at home tonight, but I think I wiped it," he lied. 

"Oh. Ok."

"So, uh, yeah. I'll let you know if I find anything."

"Ok, thanks," Arthur replied quietly, and then he hung up.

Merlin sighed, putting his head in his hands, regretting his decision from the past. 

Arthur could never see that footage. Merlin would make sure it never saw the light of day. 

\---

Merlin had very quickly forgotten about it until a week later when Arthur turned up on his doorstep mid morning.

"Banoffee pie?" he offered when Merlin opened the door.

"Uh, no thanks." Merlin was stunned, and quickly he realised that he'd forgotten to move the wedding tape.

"Thank God. Would've broken my heart if you'd said yes," Arthur smiled, pushing past Merlin into his flat. 

"Lucky you? Er, I'm a little busy at the moment, but, uh," Merlin stumbled over his words but Arthur cut him off. 

"Look, I was just passing by and I thought we'd check out the wedding video thing?" he asked.

"Er, yeah sure, but I haven't even looked for it yet, dunno where it is," Merlin called out, following after Arthur to try and stop him as he browsed all of the shelves with his VHS tapes. "I think I might've recorded over it, I'm always running out of space-"

"You don't think it's this one here called 'Gwen and Arthur's wedding?'" Arthur said, pulling out a tape from the shelf with that label on the side.

"Oh. Uh. Wow, yeah, must be. Haha, lucky find," Merlin joked, falling flat as Arthur moved to his TV and put the tape in the [VHS player](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jc3Zdawbek).

Immediately it began playing with a shot of Gwen being walked into the church by her father. 

"Oh, this is perfect," Arthur breathed. Merlin held his breath.

The camera then turned on Arthur's reaction as his beautiful bride walked toward him. There were a few tears in his eyes. It cut to the shot of him saying his vows, where the light was so perfect it was as though there was a halo around his head.

"Wow, I look rather handsome, don't you think?" Arthur chuckled, his eyes not leaving the TV. Merlin just squeezed his eyes tight and prayed for a miracle.

The video cut to the giving of the rings, and to Arthur looking out at the church and smiling beautifully. Then, as the serenade began, the camera turned quickly from looking at Gwen's reaction to Arthur's. All of it was very close up.

"You've stayed rather close, haven't you?" he commented.

The camera followed him closely out the church, and then at the reception. It followed Arthur signing the marriage document. Arthur sitting at the wedding party table. Arthur's reaction as he listened to the best man's speech. Arthur eating and drinking and laughing with Gwen and his groomsmen. Arthur talking to his father and his step-sister. Arthur as he led Gwen through their first dance. 

Arthur, Arthur, Arthur. 

Arthur turned to look at Merlin. The smile from his face was gone, replaced with something more somber, almost...remorseful. Merlin just bit his nails as the tape continued to play.

It followed Arthur during the last moments of the reception, and as they left to go on their honeymoon, the camera never leaving its focus point. 

"They're all of me, aren't they?"

Merlin just bowed his head in shame. 

"Yeah. Yeah, they are."

The footage stopped, cutting to a screen of static. 

"I don't understand," he started. "You always insult me. You never want to be around me, you always talk to Gwen. You don't like me!" 

Merlin cleared his throat. "I...I hope it's useful. Might need, er, a bit of editing. I-I have a thing to go to now. A lunch." Merlin looked at his watch. "A very, early lunch. If you'll excuse me. You can just let yourself out."

He grabbed a jacket and fled the apartment, hating himself direly, but even more, hating his love for Arthur. 

\---

Merlin would say he's a selfish person. He can be petty if he really wants something. And he really wants Arthur. 

It's why he's now standing outside Gwen and Arthur's door on Christmas Eve, building up the courage to knock, hoping that Arthur will be the one to answer. 

When he finally does, he hears the noise of footsteps coming down the stairs, followed by the jingling of keys as they turn in the lock.

When Arthur emerges from behind the door, he seems stunned that Merlin is here. Of course he is. He wasn't expecting Merlin in the first place.

Merlin holds up a finger to his lips, motion for Arthur to be quiet. Then he holds up his first placard. 

"Who is it?" he hears Gwen's voice call out.

Eyeing the card, Arthur shouts back, "It's carol singers!"

"Give them some money and ask them not to disturb us," Gwen yells.

Merlin puts down the casette and CD player, and presses the button to play. 'Silent Night' blurts out the speakers, and Merlin holds up his placards so that Arthur can read them. He starts going through them one by one. 

_With any luck, by this time next year_

_I'll be going out with one of these guys._

The next placard has images that Merlin has torn out of magazines of male models, most of them half naked. Arthur chuckles at the visual and it makes Merlin smile.

_But for now, let me just say_

_Without hope or agenda_

_And just 'cause it's Christmas, (and you tell the truth at Christmas)-_

_To me, you are perfect._

The slight smile on Arthur's face slipped, changing into something more sad. 

_And my wasted heart will love you,_

_until you look like this_

The next card had an image of a dead mummy, not looking very appealing. Arthur smiled, chuckled quietly, and nodded his head.

_Merry Christmas._

"Merry Christmas," Arthur whispered, unable to conjure a smile.

Merlin sniffled, put on a brave face and smiled as he packed up his cards and player. Without meeting Arthur's intense gaze, he walked away, heading for the tube.

Before he could get too far he heard the noise of footsteps, of someone running after him. Then, they grabbed his shoulder, turning him around to face them. 

It was Arthur.

He gave Merlin an intense look, full of emotion and yearning, only to lean in and gently press his lips against Merlin's.

Merlin gasped, revelling in the sweet contact. It didn't last long, for as soon as it had begun it was already over.

With a final, remorseful look, Arthur ran back to his flat, closing the door behind him. Merlin continued his walk away from Arthur forever.

"Enough. Enough now."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated xx.
> 
> Check out the previous work and stay tuned for more to come in this series in the lead up to Christmas!


End file.
